3 Weeks to Go!

Until finals are over and I become an M2 (fingers crossed that the exams go well and all that), and until my first horse show! 

I'm so ready for summer.  I'm getting a little (a lot) burnt out of the constant studying.  I need to just buckle down and power through these next three weeks, but my attention span seems to have simply vanished.  I blame the beautiful weather outside (and Oliver's sighs and pleas for walks outside and playtime).  Or maybe I should blame the past 15 weeks of weekly exams, intense pressure, studying late into the night (every night) and feeling guilty for taking any time off!  (whine whine whine, I know, but seriously guys, doctor school is stressful!)

Oliver gives me sad eyes while I study

 

So, with said copious amounts of studying to be completed for finals over the next 3 weeks, it may be a little tricky to get in quality riding time with dear Luke, trainer's horse that I'll be showing.  But, I think we'll just manage our expectations for this first show (it's just a schooling show, too).  I'd like AN experience in the show, well, schooling show, ring.  It doesn't have to be an awesome experience, even a great one.  One experience would be great.  Then, we'll make plans for the rest of the summer with an idea of what we're getting into.  We'll be riding Training 1 and 2. 

 











Luke and I thinking happy thoughts about our upcoming debut

Swift as a shadow: Medical student nights off

"...Swift as a shadow, short as any dream
Brief as the lightening in the coiled night
That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and earth;
And ere a man hath power to say "Behold!"
The jaws of darkness do devour it up..."
-Midsummer Night's Dream Act 1 Scene 1 141-149


I always take Friday nights off (of studying).  I don't take any other nights off.  Therefore, my Friday evenings are routinely very quickly devoured up by the jaws of darkness (sigh, I miss reading pretty things)  This particular Friday I was able to accomplish a few tasks off my wedding to-do list, including purchasing a veil (cathedral length, simple) and finding undergarments to 'hold it all in' as the sales lady put it.  I ended up deciding against the Spanx, they reminded me too much of that suit Robin Williams wears in Mrs. Doubtfire.  I think it was the nude color. 

De-fatting vs fat-adding, body shaping is a realm I'm just not ready for.

Other exciting news (my life is not that exciting), we found new toothpaste for Oliver and he loves it. It's chicken flavored, so although he hates having his teeth brush he'll allow this one, as long as he gets breaks to lick the bristles. 

Lesson videos: great for education, horrible for fragile esteem

Medical school does a number on most of our self esteem / worth, it's sort of a 'the more you know, the more you realize you don't know' sort of situation.  I have no idea how I'm ever going to be ready to take care of real humans.  But you know, that's the way it goes - I've sort of accepted I'm going to feel like an idiot for my foreseeable future (light at the end of the tunnel is currently residency, we'll see how I feel when I get there!). 
However, it is not so fun to feel completely inadequate in one's leisure activity.  A friend was able to record some of my lesson on Luke last week for me, lets just say I hope someday I'll be able to laugh about it!  I'll post a few snippets, for posterities sake, but seriously guys I DO know how awful I look and yes I really am trying not to.  What really makes me cringe is the super chair seat I seem to constantly be in.  Oh well, sucks to suck and I'll keep trying to get better.

 

 

Wishful

Currently studying for a neuroscience exam this Friday, it's going to be killer.  (Immunology is turning out to be one of my favorite classes by the way, surprising how things turn out).  I keep daydreaming about having my own horse.. somehow that just seems like it would make everything better.  It's been a rough and busy last few weeks, today especially I just feel so anxious about everything, really want to do well on this upcoming test.  I easily slip into getting jealous of all the people that have horses, but then I try to stop being ridiculous.  I'm really lucky in this whole Life game, I'll keep trying to keep things in perspective.  Medical school is such a bubble, exams and studying are tied into self-worth and it's all anyone talks or thinks about.